I am very exxxcited to be participating in this project! I will call myself "CJ" to protect the innocent. Yes, I was the one who wanted to form the bad dates blog, and I was also the creator of the "pink stuff" comment. Perhaps I will expand on that at some point, but not just yet. I am such a tease!
I always come up with funny little names for the guys I date. Most of my friends know about the men I date through their descriptions, not through their real names because that gets too confusing. But when I say "The Idiot Brit" or "Many Arms of Shiva Guy" or "The Married Guy From Burning Man", then they know EXACTLY who I am talking about!
Which leads me into my first story. Funny that Red Queen just posted about married men AND about multiple partners as I was going to include both in my first post anyway. Red Queen, you read my mind!
So this is about how I met The Married Guy From Burning Man, or TMGFBM and one of our many adventures together. Funny thing is, TMGFBM told me straight away of his marital status. I had recently returned from my first burn in the desert and went to a welcoming bonfire hosted by a group of local Burners, as we call ourselves. At said bonfire, I brought some brownie treats with me to give away, and my schtick was to give away brownies for kisses. "I will give you a brownie if you give me a kiss!" It worked like a charm. The only concern I really recieved was if they were "magic brownies", to which I answered "They are magically delicious!", bought directly form the store, no "special" additives or anything. Anyway, I was wandering around, happily trading brownies for kisses, when I started speaking to TMGFBM. He told me right away about his marital status, but explained that they had an open relationship and they encouraged each other to date other people. All I remember is snuggling in a beach chair, a little groping here & there, the smell of fresh rotting seaweed (mmmmm!!), and the promises of undying love and fidelity. Ha! Undying love and fidelity from a freaking MARRIED man??!! That's a good one. But you know, some people are rather convincing. That, and his WIFE actually told me she thought we'd have fun together. Uh, OK, when the wife advocates it, I guess it's not cheating?
Well, she was cool with TMGFBM and I hooking up until she had a run of bad luck in the dating arena. Apparently, it's OK for your partner to get some on the side if you're also getting some, but it's not cool if it's a one-way thing. This is why I could never be poly ( short for polyamorous, "several lovers"). Not only is it too confusing, but it is just one big jealous disaster waiting to happen. It seems to be such a big cool thing right now to have "open" relationships... As in two people can date or be married or otherwise attached to each other, but they can also date other people and bring them into the mix somehow. BUT they have to be HONEST about it. As soon as one person starts sleeping around behind the other person's back, then it's cheating and all bets are off. If however, they can openly communicate about their sexual conquests, they will have reached Relationship Nirvana.
Funny how it's not that simple. Funny how human emotions get in the way of such a great idea. Funny how being poly sounds so similar to communism, if you replace money with love and reduce it from a state-run economic system to a much smaller scale. Anyway, they both sound really fabulous on paper, but in reality, they're not so hot.
I always come up with funny little names for the guys I date. Most of my friends know about the men I date through their descriptions, not through their real names because that gets too confusing. But when I say "The Idiot Brit" or "Many Arms of Shiva Guy" or "The Married Guy From Burning Man", then they know EXACTLY who I am talking about!
Which leads me into my first story. Funny that Red Queen just posted about married men AND about multiple partners as I was going to include both in my first post anyway. Red Queen, you read my mind!
So this is about how I met The Married Guy From Burning Man, or TMGFBM and one of our many adventures together. Funny thing is, TMGFBM told me straight away of his marital status. I had recently returned from my first burn in the desert and went to a welcoming bonfire hosted by a group of local Burners, as we call ourselves. At said bonfire, I brought some brownie treats with me to give away, and my schtick was to give away brownies for kisses. "I will give you a brownie if you give me a kiss!" It worked like a charm. The only concern I really recieved was if they were "magic brownies", to which I answered "They are magically delicious!", bought directly form the store, no "special" additives or anything. Anyway, I was wandering around, happily trading brownies for kisses, when I started speaking to TMGFBM. He told me right away about his marital status, but explained that they had an open relationship and they encouraged each other to date other people. All I remember is snuggling in a beach chair, a little groping here & there, the smell of fresh rotting seaweed (mmmmm!!), and the promises of undying love and fidelity. Ha! Undying love and fidelity from a freaking MARRIED man??!! That's a good one. But you know, some people are rather convincing. That, and his WIFE actually told me she thought we'd have fun together. Uh, OK, when the wife advocates it, I guess it's not cheating?
Well, she was cool with TMGFBM and I hooking up until she had a run of bad luck in the dating arena. Apparently, it's OK for your partner to get some on the side if you're also getting some, but it's not cool if it's a one-way thing. This is why I could never be poly ( short for polyamorous, "several lovers"). Not only is it too confusing, but it is just one big jealous disaster waiting to happen. It seems to be such a big cool thing right now to have "open" relationships... As in two people can date or be married or otherwise attached to each other, but they can also date other people and bring them into the mix somehow. BUT they have to be HONEST about it. As soon as one person starts sleeping around behind the other person's back, then it's cheating and all bets are off. If however, they can openly communicate about their sexual conquests, they will have reached Relationship Nirvana.
Funny how it's not that simple. Funny how human emotions get in the way of such a great idea. Funny how being poly sounds so similar to communism, if you replace money with love and reduce it from a state-run economic system to a much smaller scale. Anyway, they both sound really fabulous on paper, but in reality, they're not so hot.
So to go back to TMGFBM, things between us fizzled, obviously. His wife got jealous that we were getting along so well and she wasn't seeing anyone. I got tired of being the "other woman". He was never able to stay the night, we only had limited (but fun, passionate, crazy) times together, he had to watch his kids, I could never introduce him to my friends or family, we had to go out places where no one either of us would be recognized toward the end. It was not my idea of a healthy relationship. I don't honestly understand how a polyamourous relationship could be healthy, but it works for enough people. Not for me. I want all the attention, all the time.
That's a good start, yeah? More to come, sorry it took awhile to get the first one going! I have to be better disciplined at this, or the Red Queen is gonna spank me!
*-CJ-*
That's a good start, yeah? More to come, sorry it took awhile to get the first one going! I have to be better disciplined at this, or the Red Queen is gonna spank me!
*-CJ-*
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