Caught Ya!

Everybody has an embarrassing masturbation story, some of us are just way more shameless at admitting them.

When I was in high school, my mother was convinced I was bulimic because of all the time I spent in the shower. She was sure I was puking down the drain. Truth was, I discovered the magic of the shower massage. But that is not anywhere near the most embarrassing thing.

A few years ago I lived in a building where I was fortunate to be close friends with every single other tenant. We were always in and out of each others apartments, gossiping, sharing dinners, threatening to beat our children. I was lax about locking my door. It was a buzzer building anyways.

One afternoon, after a particularly randy phone conversation with my favorite London boy, I whipped out my favorite toy, hiked up my skirt and went to town in my living room. Several minutes later my neighbor came barging into my apartment. "Oh my god! You're never gonna believe..." I don't remember what she was talking about, I just remember pulling my skirt down as casually as I could. But, because of the nature and position of the toy- I could not turn it off.

My neighbor kept talking for a few minutes while I sat there, eyes glazed and desperately hoping she would finish soon. Finally, she grew quiet.

"Uhm, you're buzzing"

"Yes, yes I am"

It took about 5 seconds for her to realize what she'd walked into. She ran out, mortified and apologetic. We're still good friends but I am much better about locking my doors now.