Happy Valentines Day!

To all my single comrades, to all the mushy couples, to all the cranky cynics.

I am neither a hater of nor an obsessor over Valentines day. The thought of being single on this mushiest of days does not make me feel bad or sad or lonely. I do not want a pile of flowers or chocolates or a sappy romantic card (I don't want the sappy cards ever, not just on Valentines day).
I do not feel like a part of me is missing because I do not have that one special guy. I am a whole person all by myself. I don't expect there to be one special guy for me, I get bored too easily. I do not see my fickleness as a moral failure, as long as I am honest with people that I date.

I like having my big bed to myself most nights. I like that my house is all mine and that I don't have to share it with anyone but the Kid. I like that boys are a pleasant diversion and not a requirement. I like that when I want to curl up in bed and spend an entire weekend watching Battlestar Galactica, I don't have to okay it with someone else.

I like the early parts of relationships. I like getting to know someone new. It's like having a puzzle to figure out. I like the electric zap of chemistry. I like the adventure. I do not like the tedium in long term relationships. There is enough tedium in everyday life without having it spill over into your sex life.

I know all these things about myself, but once every five years or so the pressure from society to couple up long term gets to be too much. Last year, on Valentines day, I ended a relationship that I had started purely because I thought it was time for me to settle down. I realized about 6 months in that "settle" is the exact term for it. I was not meant to be someone's devoted wife. Unless I get to be Anais Nin and have two husbands and many lovers all at the same time, I will probably never marry. And that is fine. Good even. Not all of us were meant to live in twos.

So this Valentines day I wish for all of us to know ourselves as well as we can. If you are coupley, be coupley. If you are not, be glad you know it. But don't let what you "should" want get in the way of knowing what you really want.